Spotted in a toilet: “Toilet out of order. Please use floor below”

In Laundromat: “Automatic Washing Machine Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out”.

Outside a second-hand shop: “We exchange anything bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along, and get a wonderful bargain!”

A Tiny-tot to his friend: “I asked my dad where the children come from and he said people download them from the internet”.


When crimes are no crimes:

Breaking silence!
Drowning a voice!
Killing time!
Shooting a picture!
Stealing a heart!

Favourite Holiday Resorts for them:

Terrorist : Bombay
Launderer : Washington
Firemen : Berne
Gamblers : Tibet
Soldiers : Warsaw
Chainsmokers : Tobago
Witches : Norwich

Smart Answers:

Q: What did the doctor give Dracula for his cold?
A: Coffin Syrup.

Q: What do you give a pig with a sore-throat?
A: “Oink”ment.

Q: Why old insurance agents never die?
A: It is against their policy, may be.

Q: What do you otherwise call a haunted house?
A: Intensive scare unit!

Q: Why are you not a dentist?
A: I dislike hand to mouth existence.

Q: Why are you not a Doctor?
A: I got sick of it.